After a long squeeze play. Car’s unloaded and John’s trying to arrange things so David and Mary don’t flip out when they come home to a living room full of his Stuff.

Box Score

Number of miles driven: A bit over 3100

Start time of game: Wednesday, May 19th, 2010, 9:30 PM Eastern

End time of game: Tuesday, May 25, 2010, 4:00 PM Pacific

States covered (in order):

1. Massachusetts
2. Connecticut
3. New York
4. Pennsylvania
5. Ohio
6. Indiana
7. Michigan
8. Illinois
9. Iowa
10. Nebraska
11. Wyoming
12. Utah
13. Nevada
14. California

Best moment: The times that John and I worked on harmony vocals for bluegrass songs to be sung at the Strawberry music festival this coming weekend. Either of us would tap “rewind” on the iPod controller and we’d go over the choruses over and over again without batting an eye. When we were doing that with the mountains of Wyoming rolling past us, the time flew by.

Worst moment: When we heard a new sound when we reached cruising speed coming out of Wendover. We’d been used to the wind against the carrier faring, but this one was brand new. “Please let it not be mechanical,” I thought. Eventually, we diagnosed it as just a new different wind sound caused by different and/or more powerful winds in the Bonneville Salt Flats area.

Best meal: The Reno Peppermill coffee shop at 1:00 this morning, after our poker session. John ordered a butterscotch malt and I wanted oatmeal. The middle-age-ish, moderately sexy waitress wasn’t having it. “I’m not bringing you that oatmeal.” “You’re not?” “No, it’s from a package at this hour. At 6:00 AM, it’ll start being fresh. Look, any breakfast menu item is $6.99 now. Get one of those.”

Who am I to blow against the wind? I ordered an omelet. Halfway through, I ordered a chocolate malt, which had been the plan all along. I wanted food in me so I’d only drink half the malt. She brought it out a few minutes later and the three of us just looked at it, a fine specimen of an American soda fountain classic.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”, she said. “Indeed, but not as beautiful as you,” I countered. John didn’t take his eyes off the confection. “I dunno – you don’t have a cherry and whipped cream.” “You got me there,” she chuckled and strolled away. Ten seconds later, John realized the double-entendre that he’d delivered. Heh.

John and I sat there and basked in the glory of our combined $300 win and talked of parenting, adoption, surrogate parenting and how our relationship would (and wouldn’t) change with the severing of the financial umbilical. “The important stuff won’t change,” I told him. “Dude, the constant flow of money is the important part.” “Damn, I thought you liked us.” “I put up a good front.”

Weirdest moment: The tweaker clerk at the truck stop in western Nebraska.

Second weirdest moment: Mexican restaurant in Ohio, maybe 30 minutes before it closes. Staff member begins vacuuming carpet while 3-4 parties are still in the place. She literally vacuums right at our feet while we’re eating. A day or two later, we’re in a Wendy’s that has food and napkins strewn around the floor. “They need that waitress from Ohio,” muses John.

Third weirdest moment: The (Anglo) waitress at the Indian restaurant in Reno. Food was good but she was just bizarre. She ordered us around (“Stack those plates”), barely made eye contact, and constantly said surprising and unusual things. “Give her a break,” I told John, “She’s new.”  Brief pause. “To the planet.”

Part that worked surprisingly well: Booking hotels the day of arrival, 200 miles in advance, using mobile Internet in the car.

Best hotel value: Peppermill Reno – luxury room at $50 after $20 poker-room discount.

Dodgiest hotel: Red Roof Inn, Clearwater, MI.

Personal observation: While I knew this intellectually, this trip helped drive home the degree to which I “have it good”, even compared to the globally high standards of my fellow American citizens. Some of this, of course, was due to my own efforts. The huge majority of it, however, was due to a spectacularly fortunate accident of genetics and environment.

I encountered many people who are no doubt just as fine (or better) human beings than I, but weren’t given the head start on life which I received. It is a sobering and humbling experience to watch a young mother try to juggle two youngsters while doing her laundry at a laundromat in Omaha.

Bottom line: If you are a parent, do not miss this opportunity if it comes up and your kid seems moderately enthusiastic. This is not something to force, but if you’re both up for it, it can be a blast.